Sunday, November 8, 2009 at 5:57PM This week's Sunday video is dedicated to TMWS commentator, Biff. It was her birthday yesterday, so I now present a pilled-up Marilyn Monroe to wish Biff a Happy Birthday! (Just think of Biff everytime she sings Mr. President.) Happy Birthday, Bifferoonie!
Sunday, November 8, 2009 at 3:52PM It’s Lazy-Ass Sunday, Dial This Shit Up On Your Computer And Waste Some Fucking Time.
American Pi
I asked it if I would win the Lottery and it answered, “some lucky day.” Hopefully that day will be this week before I go back to work.
Hitler pussy.
Stare and stare alike.
I think the person detected a bit of sarcasm and stopped talking to me.
Mine said underwear.
A pussy cleans your computer screen!
So do these monkeys.
Somewhat amusing.
I have a phobia about this list.
I could only stand this for two minutes.
I’m Hawkeye.
The End (is nigh)
Sunday, November 8, 2009 at 12:48PM 
I was up late last night so this will truly be a Lazy-Ass Sunday. In fact, I'm so lazy that's all I'm going to write. But don't worry, there will be more crap thoughout the day, so check back. And look, up above...NIK-L-NIPS!
Wednesday, November 4, 2009 at 12:05PM TMWS commentator Grompf sent me this link today and it's hilarious! Sad, true and hilarious. Thanks, Grompf!
Monday, November 2, 2009 at 7:50PM 
America has had a fascination with the Kennedy clan for some time now. We’ve watched them laugh, run for political office, die, cry, die, drive women to a watery death and then run away, overdose, buy smack in Harlem, get away with rape and crash an airplane and die for over four decades now. And through it all they’ve never shut up. And so now for your Kennedy reading pleasure we offer you some uplifting, witty and unfloundering thoughts from a family that was based on a bootlegger’s riches. Here are the Kennedy’s...
...On Lunch:
I’ll have a turkey and cheese sandwich on white bread with mayo. And I’ll also have a cup of chowder.
—John F. Kennedy. Ordering lunch from the Oval Office, Washington, D.C., January 15, 1963.
A double scotch. And keep ‘em coming.
—Teddy Kennedy. Lunching at O’Malley’s bar, Washington, D.C., February 19, 1984.
That was good soup!
—John F. Kennedy, Jr. Giving the chef his compliments at the Gotham Bar and Grill, New York City, March 22, 1995.
Give me a Whopper and a large order of fries. And I’ll have a Coke with that.
—Patrick Kennedy. Ordering at a Burger King in Boston, MA., June 19, 1991.
...On Being Sick:
I don’t feel very well.
—John F. Kennedy. Complaining about the flu to Jackie, Washington, D.C., July 2, 1962.
Could you get me a couple of aspirin please?
—Robert F. Kennedy. Asking his wife Ethel for some aspirin while campaigning in Nashville Tennessee, April 25, 1968.
Ah...Ah...Ahchoo!
—Caroline Kennedy, Sneezing, Washington, D.C., June 11, 1963.
Oooh, my neck is so sore!
—Rose F. Kennedy. Suffering from a stiff neck, Boston, MA, October, 13, 1959.
...On Mary Jo Kopechne:
...On Going to the Bathroom:
I have to go to the bathroom. I’ll be back in a few minutes.
—John F. Kennedy. Explaining to Lyndon B. Johnson and his brother Robert in the Oval Office that he had to go to the bathroom, Washington, D.C., September 12, 1962.
Now it’s my turn.
—Robert F. Kennedy. When his brother John returned to the Oval Office after going to the bathroom, Washington, D.C., September 12, 1962.
I gotta take a leak. Have a fresh scotch waiting for me by the time I get back.
—Teddy Kennedy. Lunching at O’Malley’s bar, Washington, D.C., March 16, 1985.
Monday, November 2, 2009 at 4:48PM 
Magazine: Rolling Stone, September 14, 1968
Cover Headline: “Welp!”
Huh, I guess they didn’t have a copy editor back in 1968.
Monday, November 2, 2009 at 3:59PM Kevin Spacey’s Shopping List
By Marty Wombacher
T.P.
pack of weenies
buns
catsup
Lady Gillette razors
Manwich
anal lube
Monday, November 2, 2009 at 2:40PM 
You may have noticed that the “Morning Sucks” pictures haven’t been posted for the last two days. And there’s a reason for that. And here it is.
When I first started putting those up, it was mainly for my own amusement, but as time went on people kept talking to me about them and saying it was their favorite thing on here. Which made me happy because I have fun doing them. So I decided to stop posting them. Here, at least.
I’m pleased to announce the “Morning sucks” photos now have a website of their very own. It’ll be updated once a day and you can see the latest update by clicking here: Morningsucks.com.
See, Motherfucker?
P.S. Check out the cool banner art that "Boris" did for the site when you're there, it's really cool!
