Six Fun Things to do at Funerals
Monday, November 9, 2009 at 3:51PM 6 Fun Things To Do At Funerals
1. Say loudly to no one in particular, “You know I’m surprised he lived as long as he did.”
2. Pretend to pray over the open casket. At the opportune time, run out of the church screaming, “He winked at me! He winked at me!”
3. Approach the widow and offer your condolences and then a hug and a kiss. And then watch the surprised look on her face as you snake your tongue halfway down her throat.
4. Yell the following out in the middle of the service, “Jesus fucking Christ, who do ya gotta blow to get a drink in this fucking dump?”
5. Excuse yourself and go to the bathroom. Once safely inside of a stall, scrawl on the bathroom wall, “Fuck the Dead!”
6. At the after funeral brunch, load up on the free booze and when the moment is right make the following toast: “It’s too bad about Larry, but I think we all realize what this means: More food and gas for the rest of us who are still alive!”
Reader Comments (12)
Ahahahahahah. These are great! My favorite is this one:
4. Yell the following out in the middle of the service, “Jesus fucking Christ, who do ya gotta blow to get a drink in this fucking dump?”
As if anyone needed further proof: Mr. Wombacker you are indeed a sick man.
We're are all doomed to go the easy-peazy Swayze way.
Mr. Wombacher, you're a realistic man ;)
We should all make this kind of things when someone died !! ok, I personally do haha !
but I grew without religion nor "catholic view" so I didn't learn to be sad & to bring bad energies either! and with my family we use to make a big party & enjoy the death !!
Hey you should see the face of people when I said in June "I'm happy my grandma died today!" haha :D And it's funny because they all asked "Why, she had allot of money?" .... why people think money? fucking greedy human!!!!!! and I answered: "No she was poor! hey motherfuckers!? can I be happy for the new spiritual circle that my grandma is experiencing??" HAHAHAHAHAHAH !!!! :D
TO MARY THE WHORE !! TO ALL OF THOSE WHOM LIKE YELL "FUCK THE DEAD" !!!!!!!!!!!!!! uh uh !!
I had no idea you were Irish.
But we did have some idea you were German.
TO MARY THE WHORE !! TO ALL OF THOSE WHOM LIKE YELL "FUCK THE DEAD" !!!!!!!!!!!!!! uh uh !!
I do not believe that Marty would scream in Caps.
TO MARY THE WHORE !! TO ALL OF THOSE WHOM LIKE YELL "FUCK THE DEAD" !!!!!!!!!!!!!! uh uh !!
Oh ! it think about a new song for Funeral : "Happy death is to youuuu, Happy death is tooo youu! HaaaappY death IS too YOUUUUUUUU Fucking Deeeeeeeath !!!!! Happy End motheeeerfuckeeeeeeer !!!!!!!! (with happy birthday air! ) HAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAAA (satanic laugh) :D
ha!
They're comming to get you Barbara...they're comming to get you...they're horny Barbara, they've been dead a LONG time...LOOK! THERE"S ONE OF THE NOW!!! - From the 1990 remake of Night of the Living Dead.